When I gave birth to my son three years ago, I considered hiring a doula. Being a pretty self-sufficient gal, I opted instead to take as many classes and read as many books as I could to learn about birth myself. The day before my due date, I went in for a regular checkup and my blood pressure was a bit high. Later that night, I was admitted to the hospital due to my blood pressure continuing to rise.
All the research I had done was around spontaneous and non-medicated labor because that's what I had envisioned for my birth experience. I found myself quickly experiencing the exact opposite of everything that I had in my birth plan. And on top of that, my birth team wasn’t particularly sympathetic to my situation. I felt judged and talked down to, and at some points even threatened by these people who were supposed to be helping me bring my child into the world.. I was horrified from start to finish.
Looking back, most of the things that happened in my labor and delivery were safe and common. But not having anyone on my team to communicate and empathize with me made me perceive the whole experience as the most traumatic day of my life.When my son finally made it out, I was completely drained. I looked at him and only felt relief that it was all over.
In the following months, the stress built and I knew that I loved my baby, but I couldn't feel it and I struggled with guilt that we were not bonding. My family was loving and well-intentioned, but no one really knew how to help me. My baby would scream relentlessly and I would cry because I had no idea what to do. I developed severe postpartum depression and wasn't able to return to my old job.
I wondered if having a doula would have changed anything, so I began a deep dive into what exactly they do. I learned so much and decided to become one myself. My mission since then has been to support other parents without judgment so that they can enter parenthood with confidence and joy.
What is a Doula?
The word "doula" comes from an Ancient Greek word that means “a woman who serves”. Doulas today serve in many different ways. They go through training and certification programs that focus on emotional and physical support, not medical training.
The 3 most common types are birth doulas, postpartum doulas, and abortion doulas. While these types of doulas work in different settings, their objectives are the same: To educate, support, and empower their clients through the abundant decisions one can make from pregnancy through postpartum. The choices are endless and can be confusing. But when you have the right support you don't have to become a birth or parenting expert. You don't have to do it alone.
What is a Birth Doula?
Working with a birth doula involves extra support during the prenatal stage, birth process, and postpartum period. It usually begins with one to two prenatal appointments during which they educate their clients on expectations for labor and delivery, making decisions with informed consent, and positions or tips to help labor progress. These appointments help you create your ideal birth plan for both medically managed and spontaneous unmedicated births.
A birth doula is available for questions and calls before birth and comes to provide comfort measures and pain relief techniques during your birth experience. When your baby is born, they can help with basic lactation questions, newborn care advice, and keep an eye on mom's physical and emotional healing through the first 40 days or so of postpartum recovery.
Researchers have found that doulas decrease c-sections, the length of labor, and the use of Pitocin. Some members of marginalized communities, such as women of color, reported better birthing experiences due to having a doula present. Holistic birth workers have been used through the centuries and in many cultures around the world, and in America today they are essential to protecting and advocating for parents during this vulnerable and intimate time.
What is a Postpartum Doula?
A Postpartum Doula assists their clients in adapting to life with a newborn. They help facilitate healthy sleep for caretakers and babies, often working in overnight shifts. Doulas teach parents about communication cues and provide soothing techniques. They are proven to improve breastfeeding success and reduce postpartum mood disorders. Care can last a few weeks, or several months depending on each family's needs. Having postpartum support can be especially helpful for parents who have limited time to recover and adjust before returning to work.
What is an Abortion Doula?
An abortion doula is someone who provides judgment-free care to ensure that women terminating a pregnancy can do so in a safe and healthy way. These professionals also do consultations to prepare clients on what to expect and how to care for their bodies after an abortion. Much like a birth doula, they are present the day of, to provide emotional and physical comfort. They also check in with their clients to ensure a smooth recovery period.
Do Doulas Replace Partners?
For clients that have a partner throughout their pregnancy, the doula acts as a coach to guide both parents and instill confidence. Some clients have a partner who is deployed in the military, some are carrying as a surrogate, and others may be placing a baby with adoptive parents. In these cases, their doula can assume the role of partner while documenting the experience through pictures, videos, and notes so that the other parent can still have involvement in the experience.
Co-parents who are not in a relationship can also benefit from having a doula to facilitate a safe space and coaching so that both parents enjoy participating in the experience in an appropriate manner. For single parents, a doula is a safe and non-judgmental partner who can allow their client to be vulnerable and feel supported. Doulas can also empower satisfying experiences for single parents by educating friends or relatives on how to be a positive part of the birth team.
How to Find a Doula?
Certified doulas are growing in popularity, and are relatively easy to find. You can do a quick internet search for “doulas in my area”, ask for recommendations in Facebook mom groups, explore the option of having a virtual doula, or check the DONA International directory. It’s important to conduct interviews to find someone that you can be open and vulnerable with. First-time moms can labor for a very long time, so you’ll want to make sure you enjoy this person's company! Other things you should ask your doula about include:
- Training and experience
- Availability or any limits in hours of continuous support
- Any additional services offered (classes, hypnobirthing, lactation support, massage, photography, sleep training)
- Rates or fees
- Payment plans or charitable funds
Can I Afford a Doula?
There is a doula for every budget. Those working towards their certifications often attend births for free or for a very small fee (usually less than $500). Many doula agencies will set aside a portion of each profit in order to sponsor a mother who is unable to pay on their own. In Texas where I practice, GALS offers free Doula support to clients in need, while ensuring they are still paid. Some churches set aside funds for community members in need and can donate towards your doula fees.
A recent trend is to host baby showers where the guests are asked to bring pre-loved baby items, and instead of buying new gifts, they donate towards Doula costs. Military parents with TRICARE are covered for doula care and breastfeeding support fees, as long as their doula is certified. Companies like Walmart, Target, CVS and Microsoft are even exploring Doula coverage in some states with their employee benefit packages. To see which states are actively reimbursing Doula costs through Medicaid insurance go to: https://healthlaw.org/doulamedicaidproject/
You Deserve Support
Everyone deserves to have support through the tough decisions surrounding pregnancy and childbirth. All throughout history women have supported each other through labor, delivery, and raising children.
Doulas exist to ensure that no matter where you come from, how much you make, or who is or isn’t supporting you, you can have someone during this time to hold your hand and lend you their hearts. Not only do doulas fill an emotional space in labor and raising babies, but having a doula statistically improves labor outcomes, maternal mortality rates, and overall postpartum experiences.