I still remember finding out about my first pregnancy. I wish I could say I jumped up, ran out of the bathroom, and tackled my husband with excitement. In reality, I sat and cried for half an hour while he waited patiently outside the locked door. I wanted to be excited, but all I could think about were family and friends who had demeaningly insisted, “You’re going to get pregnant right away, just watch.” And they were right. So instead of excitement, fear and doubt weighed on me. To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. If you’re overwhelmed and wondering, “I’m pregnant, now what?” I challenge you to start with these three simple next steps: face your emotions, tell someone, and, yep, go buy some prenatal vitamins.

The First Step? Face your emotions

Emotions are part of what makes us people, and they are helpful indicators of health and well-being. That means it’s important to pay attention to them.

Emotions that follow the discovery of an unexpected pregnancy can be incredibly strong– both positive and negative. And although it’s natural to want to avoid any negative emotions, it’s crucial that you choose instead to face them.

There is no “right” way to feel about any situation, especially big life changes. What really matters is how you allow your feelings to govern your choices. Although fear, anger, or disappointment can be overwhelming, they lose the power to control you--and your choices--when you choose to acknowledge and work through them.

So find a quiet place where you can think, and use the fill-in-the-blank prompts below to honestly evaluate your emotional health.

Fill in the blank:

• The three emotions I feel most strongly right now are _______________, _____________, and ______________.
• Even though I am experiencing these things, I am in control of how I respond.
• I’m most worried about _____________.
• I don’t want my choices to be driven by ______________.
• I do want my choices to be driven by _______________.

Tell someone

If pregnancy is the last thing you expected to face in this season of your life, resist the temptation to handle it by yourself. You want to be strong, but it’s incredibly difficult to be strong in isolation.

Strong people know when to lean on their village.

Seek out someone you trust—a person you know has your best interest at heart—and invite them in to listen. It's okay to ask for only their listening ear, especially if you're nervous they might rush to try and "fix it."

Questions to ask yourself:

• Who do I trust enough to confide in?
• Does this person listen well in our normal conversations?
• Does this person support me while also challenging me to be my best self?

Buy prenatal vitamins (and ice cream)

Prenatals immediately begin to fuel your body with the vitamins you need to keep yourself healthy during early pregnancy. It’s a safe, simple, and quick way to overcome that initial feeling of overwhelm by doing something both concrete and effective--without the pressure of deciding how you want to move forward. And don’t forget to treat yourself to your favorite treat as well. If strawberry Häagen-Dazs puts a smile on your face, then grab a pint (or two)!

Questions to ask yourself:

• If you’re planning to pick up milk tonight, stop by the vitamins and add a pack of prenatals to your basket. You can also try a local pharmacy or general retailer that sells vitamins.
• Prenatal vitamins increase your daily intake of folic acid and iron. Later, talk to your doctor, and ask if there are other specific vitamins you’ll need to supplement. A small bottle of basic prenatals will work for now, so don’t feel the need to spend too much. What am I craving right now?

Splurge on a treat, and enjoy every bite!

Confirm the pregnancy

There’s no need to stress over whether that store-bought pregnancy test was accurate or expired. Instead, call your OB/GYN and ask to schedule an appointment to confirm the pregnancy. Sitting with a medical provider who answers your questions with clarity and calmness can bring great peace of mind. Questions to ask yourself: What questions do I need answered?

Start keeping a list of questions on your phone. Wait until you see a provider to ask them; googling can lead to information overload and misinformation. Do I want to take someone with me to this appointment?

Consider bringing a friend with you- someone who will help you remember which questions have been weighing on your mind. Make sure to call ahead and ask if a support person is allowed at the appointment. Will this provider take the time to listen to my questions and answer thoroughly?

Some providers have a reputation for rushing through their patients’ appointments. Looking at online reviews to read other patients’ experiences is a great way to filter through providers. Do they take my insurance? If so, what will the co-pay amount be?

Call the number on the back of your insurance card if you aren’t sure. They should be able to help you find a list of providers in your area that are in-network. Ask the medical receptionist at the practice to verify what your co-pay will be before your appointment.

How do you want to respond?

I know how quickly pregnancy can lead to fear, worry, and doubt, long before morning sickness ever kicks in. But thousands of women in similar situations have felt these powerful feelings too. Instead of worrying about how you should feel, focus on how you do feel, and on how you want to respond to life’s unexpected changes.

Thankfully, I not only misjudged the love and care of my support system, but I underestimated my own strength as well. I was more than capable of navigating my pregnancy, but I needed to be honest with myself about what I was feeling.

All of my worries stemmed from my fear of what people might think. That anxiety started to fade after talking through our next steps with my husband and sharing the news with friends and family members I trusted. Moving forward with a solid support group allowed me to joyfully plan for our baby.

Facing the unexpected becomes a little less overwhelming when you know what next steps to take after finding out you’re pregnant. By taking small steps (and a few deep breaths) you’ll move closer towards building a strong support system, emotional health, and peace of mind.

At She Might, we believe that your future is bright!