I’ll never forget the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test. I felt like my life was falling apart.

After having reconstructive surgery on my knee and finding out about my parents’ divorce, I thought, how the heck could I get through an unexpected pregnancy too? I knew that going through with the pregnancy would mean losing my basketball scholarship at my college. How could I possibly make it to the other side?

The Catalyst

Pros and cons flooded my mind and my journal as I spent time mapping out the right decision for me and my child. Was I ready for a baby? Abortion seemed to have the most pros and the least cons.

My mind was set and the appointment was made, until I came across an article on the internet. I read about a woman in similar circumstances who chose to parent her son. There they were, pictured together on the other side of this big decision. Right then and there, something shifted in my mind. If she could do it, I could do it.

When I decided to raise my daughter, my mind was fixated on one thing: not becoming another statistic of a young, single mom stuck in poverty. As my family shared the news of my pregnancy, people made comments like, “why would she end her life for this baby?” and “she had so much going for her.” While many people view children as roadblocks to success, my daughter has been the catalyst to mine. Her future and well-being is the motivation behind every decision that I make.

Accepting the Challenge

A few months after my daughter was born, I was invited back to the school by my former basketball coach. There was a spot on the team for me that included a partial scholarship. I’ll never forget laughing with my mom after hanging up the phone that day. Did he really believe that I could play college basketball, take a full load of classes, and raise a baby?

I could not have done it on my own by any means; I had a very full and willing support system, including family members and close friends. I had to learn that accepting help from others was a humbling, but necessary, part of my success.

Honestly, I’m not sure how I took on so many responsibilities at once. It was two years of pure exhaustion. There were many tearful and sleepless nights for both of us, but I knew I couldn’t quit. My daughter’s warm hugs and drooly kisses at the end of every tiring day was a sweet reminder of my purpose. She was my purpose.

Creating a Life for Me and My Daughter

My original goal at the start of college was to become a doctor; more specifically, a surgeon. I quickly learned that while C’s get degrees, they don’t get you into medical school. So, I switched gears and started pursuing a nursing career, finishing my Bachelor of Science in biology. For a couple of years after graduation, I worked as a medical assistant at a surgery center to gain experience while applying to nursing programs.

The surgery center couldn’t provide many hours for me, so I worked as a photographer for Disneyland on the side. It didn’t take long to fall in love with working at Disneyland, and I even considered pursuing a full-time career for the Mouse.

At the suggestion of my step-father, I picked up a third part-time job as a substitute teacher. It quickly became clear to me that I was not only good at teaching, but also that it was something I genuinely enjoyed doing. It’s the perfect blend of my background in science and my love for kids. Five years after earning a bachelor's degree, I graduated with my teaching credential and Master of Arts in Education.

Obviously, a teacher’s salary is incomparable to that of a surgeon, but I am content. I get to do what I love, provide a comfortable life for myself and my daughter, and we get to spend school breaks together as an added bonus! Finding my purpose wasn’t a linear journey, but I trusted the process and embraced the challenge.

Finding Fulfillment and My Version of Success

When you think about the word “success,” what comes to mind? Most people visualize money or wealth. The Oxford Dictionary defines the word as “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” Since when did we reduce success to a strictly financial concept? The reality is, we have the power to define success in our own lives. No one has the power to define your success except for you. What if success isn’t centered around money or wealth but around accomplishing a purpose and finding fulfillment?

Changing my perspective on success changed the trajectory of my life. By focusing less on the number of digits in my bank account and more on accomplishing my goals and finding purpose, I’ve found immense joy and fulfillment. I’ve learned to tune out the varying definitions of success in the world around me and focus more on my own definition of success.

Sometimes, the most painful endings turn out to be the most beautiful beginnings. Maybe your life isn’t falling apart; maybe this is the beginning of your journey in finding purpose and fulfillment. If I can do it, you can do it.