Healing Journaling Prompts That I Used After My Abortion

Amanda Webster

11/6/2024

Emotional recovery and physical recovery go hand in hand. Some women experience intense emotional symptoms post-abortion. It’s important to address these feelings, for your own emotional and mental well-being. 

Physically and emotionally, no one knows your situation but you. How you feel emotionally after your abortion and your healing journey are yours and yours alone. Though it might seem tempting to push down any uncomfortable feelings out of fear of someone finding out, judging you or from a belief that you deserve the pain, it’s crucial to confront and process what comes up.

An effective way to sort through conflicting or upsetting thoughts and alleviate the overwhelm of a racing mind is through journaling. Practicing journaling can help bring clarity and emotional healing after an abortion.

Below you’ll find journaling prompts for healing that helped me through my personal abortion experience and that I frequently share with other women who are struggling after their decision to terminate a pregnancy. Not all questions will meet you where you are at and you are not obligated to answer all of them.

Moving beyond the “What ifs”

Facing the situation in all its emotional discomfort is a paramount first step to processing what has happened and begin to make sense of it. Sometimes reflecting on an event can help you gain perspective on what led you to your decision and what you could have done differently so you can more easily extract any lessons from the experience.

Start by narrating what happened. From finding out you were pregnant until your abortion.

If you could go back to the moment you found out that you were pregnant, what would you tell yourself?

Did you do the best you could with the knowledge that you had at the time?

Identifying Your Emotions

Pinpointing the emotions you’re experiencing is essential to properly deal with them and heal. In the days after the procedure, you may be experiencing resentment or anger towards other people involved with your abortion. Identifying the source of your pain can help alleviate the unnecessary guilt that you might be piling on yourself.

When you ask yourself how you're feeling, remember that ‘fine’ and ‘okay’ are not emotions. See what arises and observe it without judgment and remember that emotions are neither good nor bad. If this is hard (don't worry, it is for a lot of people) try using a feelings list to help you identify the emotions.

Let’s start with the basics. Primary emotions can be easier to identify than secondary emotions and maybe the first emotions we feel. We could call them our core emotions. Secondary emotions can be more complex and may be harder for us to name.

Primary vs. Secondary Emotions

Let’s explore some emotions you may be experiencing.

Let’s explore some emotions you may be experiencing.

Exploring emotions related to an abortion can be difficult, so be kind to yourself and take the time you need to process each emotion.

When you think about processing your emotions relating to your abortion, how do you feel?

Can you name some of the emotions you experienced/are experiencing? If it helps you to process, you can underline, circle, or highlight some of the emotions named in the table above.

Do you have negative emotions towards someone involved in your abortion experience?

Do you have positive emotions towards someone involved in your abortion experience?

What would it feel like to wake up without the feelings that are hurting you?

If you recognize how your uncomfortable emotions are affecting your day-to-day life, how they physically show up, and what life would be like without them, you can have specific areas of focus for your healing.

Allow Yourself To Heal

Now is a great time to practice being gentle and compassionate with yourself and engaging in activities, such as journaling, that will bring you peace and understanding.

Regardless of how you feel about the legal and social aspects of abortion, the procedure can leave some women grieving a life they never got the chance to have. Some women find immense comfort in the ritual of naming the baby they chose not to have. Others write them a letter as a way of coming to terms with the what-ifs or any potential guilt.

What harsh thoughts are preventing you from forgiving yourself?

Is there anything that you wish you could tell your baby?

Looking Toward the Future

Once you have started to process the deeper emotions (be patient, this may take some time), it's time to start planning your next steps. Enter future self journaling.

Future self journaling is a type of journaling where you journal about where you’d like your life to be in the future. It includes journaling about where you are right now (things you’re grateful for and habits/limiting beliefs that you’d like to change), but the emphasis is placed on your future self: what you’d like to accomplish and things you’d like to change as time progresses. This allows you to acknowledge where you're at and honor the emotions while finding hope that tomorrow can be brighter.

What are some positive thoughts that I wish I thought about myself?

What would a better version of myself look like?

What next step could I take that would honor my baby's memory and myself?

What do I want to work toward?

Conclusion

I hope that journaling helps ease any stress or uncertainty you may be experiencing as well as give you insights that help you heal and process your thoughts and feelings. However, if journaling triggers thoughts of hurting yourself or makes you feel worse over time, know that you can always take a break or even schedule an appointment with a mental health professional.